Fear and Trembling

God calls us in Philippians 2:12 to continue to work out our salvation with fear and trembling.

I have been a believer... or I guess you could say God's been working out my salvation for as long as I can remember. I grew up under amazing pastors/teachers of God's word and parents who took their role of binding the Word of God to their children's hearts very seriously. In all these things, I praise God for the blessing of allowing me to know Him and be rooted in Him at a very young age.

However, since I supposedly new all the right answers from memory and some from heart, I feared asking questions. To me, to question meant that I didn't love God enough or that I didn't believe God enough. To raise tough questions meant, in my thinking at the time, that I must not really be a believer.... so for years I just ignored the hard questions and refused to question anything... and all answers were just what I knew I was suppose to say. Then, I went to college, and my whole world started to shatter with different life struggles. During this time I decided to switch majors to Christian Ministries, thinking that it would be safe and encouraging to my faith (I didn't do it for that reason alone but I thought it couldn't hurt). Unfortunately or maybe fortunately every professor decided to play devils avocate. I began to question everything that I ever believed, every scripture, my own heart, and even the very truths of God. It was a hard time but an extremely fruitful one in hind sight.

See, I believe God wants us to ask tough questions. I believe no matter how long we know Him, He always wants us to ask questions about Him. Because it is in these question that we learn more about His character and it is through wrestling with our Creator that we see how small we actually are in comparison to Him. It is the same with every relationship the more you seek to know about a person the closer you get them. The more I ask God questions and seek His Word ( His truth) the more intimate and in love I become with Him, and the more He opens my eyes to His beauty and grace.